children

System Recovery: Backup In 10 Days after a Tonsilectomy

A tonsilectomy is like the execution of an intelligently designed performance- based contingency. It's painful for everyone involved but if they're not meeting performance requirements, they have to go.

In our case, it was close to 10 days of pain until we were back on our feet. It would have been 9 but a ridiculously cold day (-20 degrees) resulted in school closings throughout South Dakota and afforded us an extra day to recharge.

Although most days were spent getting enough fluids down (water, apple juice and chocolate milk) while watching every episode of Scooby Doo & Peg + Cat ever created... the following is an overview of her daily post-op progression highlights:

 

Day 0: Nervous but brave going in. Disphoria and pain waking up. Plesant and cheerful at home.

ATE: Buttery And Fluffy Scrambled Eggs, Buttered Hawaiian Sweet Roll
And Apple Juice

Quote of the day: "I don't like any of this! I don't like one bit of this at all and I want to go home!!!"- upon waking from surgery.

 

Day 1: Antsy from medication and inactivity. Apparently unaffected otherwise. Playing independently.

ATE: Buttered Noodles, Fluffy Pancakes and Fudge Pop

Quote: "I don't want to eat ANYTHING!"

 

Day 2: Antsy and A bit overemotional / easily frustrated. Clearly masking discomfort. Bored

Quote:  "...but I'm not a very big fan if ice cream because it makes my mouth so cold."

ATE: Fudge Pop and Buttered Noodles with Chix Broth few slices of Pear.

 

Day 3: Calm and Cuddly with random bursts of energy presumably resulting from boredom.

Quote: "They say on television that children love flashlights and they love stuffed animals...so they really love flashlight friends! I love my new flash.light friend so much I have to hug her a lot!"

ATE: Buttered Noodles, Pancake and Fudge Pop and Marshmallows

 

Day 4: Fairly normal but bursts of energy continue to mix with apparent drowsiness from medication.

Quote: "I feel like I was eating an apple and swallowed it whole without even chewing it up."

ATE: Nutella Crepe, Mozzarella Cheese and Fuffy Pancake

 

Day 4.5: Skipped a dose of Lortab in middle of the night to tfy and let her sleep through. Bad idea.

 

Day 5: Irritable and uncomfortable. Needed a lot if attention and TLC = cuddling.

ATE: Nutella and Sunbutter Crepe and Buttered Noodles with Chicken Broth and Grated Cheese

Quote: "Its nice to be out of the house. I havent been out if the house in a year!"

 

Day 6: Doing very well. Feeling well.Comfortable but bored. Seems like her old self.
Fluffy & Light Grilled cheese on Thick slices Kings Hawaiian Sweet Round Bread, Mac n Cheese, PEZ,

ATE: Buttered Noodles and Chix Broth and Pirate Booty and Gum.

Quote: "I want someone to color with me!"

 

Day 7: In great spirits. Happy and Full of Energy.

ATE: Fluffy Pancakes and PEZ.

Quote: "I feel perfect!"

 

DAY 8: Tired and difficult breaking out of the routine of sleeping in late cuddling and being naked. Voice changing: Sounding a lot like a miniature Kristen Chenoweth...or a cute Yeardley Smith (AKA Putter from Legend of Billy Jean)

ATE: Pancakes, Ham and Cheese, broccoli, boiled honied baby carrots, avocado, apple slices and salmon nuggets.

Quote: "My throat hurts just a little when I yawn."

Impact Fees: The Hidden Costs of Two Income Families

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When both Mom and Dad are both working full-time, it doesn’t leave much time to take care of the basics. Grocery shopping and filling the car up with gas can often prove a challenging fit into one’s schedule… let alone the little things like: laundry, house cleaning, lawn & garden care, dog walking and feeding, picking up the kids because you can’t leave work at 3:00 in the afternoon…little things like that.

The amount of time it takes to run a household adds up fast…especially when you consider the fact that unless you have another family member living with you (like a mother or mother-in-law) you need to pay someone to help with the day-to-day chores and errands.

The bottom line? If you’re thinking about going back to work once the kid(s) are in school full-time, you should consider the direct impact by weighing the tangible expenses of doing so…or rather ensure that your return to the work force will yield an income that outweighs the cost savings of staying home (calculated below).

House Cleaner: $7,200+/yr.

Babysitter / Nanny: $12,000 - $35,000+/yr.

Dog Walker: $7,800/yr.

Summer Camp / Swim or Country Club:  $2,000 - $10,000+/yr.

Landscaping: $1,500 - $4,000+/yr.

Dry-cleaning: $1,000 - $2,000+/yr.

___________________________________________

$31,500 - $66,000+/yr.

In short, unless you’re re-entry into the job market guarantees a salary of at least $50,000+/yr.… it’s likely you won’t break-even (on paper).

But what should also be taken into consideration, if you are one of the very fortunate (and very few) Americans who are in the position to even view a 2nd income as an option, is the fact that people who do what they love are happier people. And happy people not only make better friends and better lovers but better parents too. So, if your family can sustain itself on one (or one and a half salaries) ask yourself what you love more…the fulfillment of keeping a home or the fulfillment of your former line of work.  

Focus: Learning to Tune Out The Noise

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99% of the time I'm totally in love with the privilege and awe of just watching my daughter grow up....then there's the other 1% of the time I feel as though I'm a half-step away from being that strangely numbed Lieutenant who is walking through a battlefield of scorched earth with men screaming, machine guns firing, grenades being launched and mortars exploding all around him... while he has a relaxed conversation, with someone completely distracted by all the chaos, about what they might have for lunch later in the day.  

An interesting article I dug up in the Harvard Business Review blog on: Awareness, Focus & Judgement....applicable in any walk of life:

http://blogs.hbr.org/hmu/2009/01/pay-attention-an-interview-wit.html

Face Time: Being 100% Present

I'm learning to enjoy what originally brought me into the restaurant business. My family, my love of food and my appreciation of interesting company. When you are the one serving all the time... as opposed to the one being served, it's a lot like being a deaf musician.

I realize that my life is so much better now and that I’m so blessed to have everything I've ever wanted...everything that's important to me...and yet I still need to learn to relax and enjoy it. It's a strange feeling.

I’m getting better at not feeling as though there is something else I could be doing. Those feelings used to be a great source of stress regardless of how I channeled it or hid it. Not being able to complete a sentence. Not being able to make a phone call or finish a simple task like feeding the dog, folding the laundry or sending an email without this little person demanding my attention. It’s non-stop and as much as I love her, I can now understand the principles behind Chinese water torture. The constant repetition of something so innocuous (like light Bossa Nova or Yani or "Daddy!") over time can drive anyone nuts.

Being valuable meant being productive for so long….now I’m coming to terms with the beauty of things left undone. And in return, I’m able to catch one more of her smiles or share another laugh or just take one extra moment to remind her of how much she’s loved. This little girl wants my attention and should get it (most of the time). She deserves it. She’s already learned that she has me wrapped around her little finger and senses my stress when I’m not able to rush to her upon request but I’m curbing that now and practicing benign neglect (for her benefit more than mine). And as I watch her grow before my eyes, I’m struck with the seasonal nature of life and the fleeting of time. Before I know it, she’ll be 15 and telling me she hates me.

Due Dilligence: Taking Great Activity Ideas Home

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Although I’m a big fan of spending time at the local pet store (AKA: The Free Zoo) and going on “Playground Tour 2012”…There are a lot of other things to do in the area.

This week, one of my best friends Jeff (who is also a professional Daddy) re-introduced me to Longwood Gardens. Like many other places I’ve visited as a childless-man, I was surprised to learn that there was a “children’s section”.

Longwood has an exhibit in the Indoor Children’s Garden “…filled with intricate water features, handcrafted artisan elements and engaging horticultural displays that invite children into an imaginative world all their own.” - www.longwoodgardens.org

Located in the center of these awe inspiring displays is a large stone fountain adorned with hand-carved dragons and surrounded by slate-tiled walls. A collection of buckets and small wooden-handled paintbrushes are made available for children for them to “paint” everything from the fountain itself to the cement floor beneath it…with water as the "paint" that temporarily darkens the surfaces.

As someone with large rocks lining their driveway and approximately 60’ of flagstone along their front walk, I immediately recognized the beauty of this interactive exhibit. The quick-drying “paint” motivates the children to continually create new designs or re-do patterns that have just faded… until you have to drag them away.

Needless to say… I bought 3 cheap paintbrushes at Sherwin Williams yesterday and am looking forward to Catherine’s reaction when I break them out this weekend.

So much easier to steal GREAT ideas from someone else than to think of them yourself. Whenever I’m at a loss for fun things to do, I guess I just need to get out with the openness to re-discover places and things I thought I knew.

Reminds me of the classic cure for “writer's block”.

Go-To-Market Strategy: Finding Teaching Oppotunities Everywhere

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No longer is the free cookie at the bakery department our motivation for getting to the market. I’ve really learned that taking your time in an isle may be time consuming but very fun and rewarding if you have the time to begin with….I realize that not everyone can spend two hours at Wegman’s but after growing tired of the stress induced by rushing through the market in an effort to  beat the meltdown clock with a tired and bored little girl who wants to walk, then be carried then be placed in the cart…I decided to view the supermarket as a classroom and as a playground.  It makes for a much less stressful errand… and I no longer get those apathetic looks of annoyance from the masses of fellow shoppers I used to stop just short of smashing into with every turn or acceleration of my cart.

Bringing a shopping list and hunting for items at the grocery store with Catherine has proved not only to be fun but also serve as practical Montessorial exercises in reading, conceptual math and coordination.

Now, we not only look for the specific items we write on the list, but also the appropriate size and weight…which we translate to “units” thanks to our good friends: Team Umizoomi.

Today, I had Catherine sit in the cart while I placed a 1lb bag of rice in her lap. I told her it was 1lb or 1 “unit”. Then I replaced it with a 10lb bag of rice. I plopped it right in her lap while announcing that “This one is 10 units!”.  I asked her to describe what the bags felt like and which one felt heavier. I then began asking her over and over again to make sure and repeated this exercise until she couldn’t stop laughing. The take away here: Bags of rice are “squishy” and 10 units is heavier than 1 unit….and half of the people shopping at the market today probably think I smoke pot.

Analytics: Breaking Down Gender Role "Reversals"

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I can’t help but think of my mother (or any other mom I’ve ever known) who never seemed worn from the challenges of keeping a house and raising children. I do remember plenty of performances by my parents that began with the following address to my father (who would be reclined in a chair watching football): “I need some help around here!!!”…but I can also remember thinking …”help with what!?”

Past performances dictates that when a man is the bread-winner of the family, he typically: mows the lawn, shovels the snow, changes light-bulbs, walks the dog, pays the bills, gasses up and fixes the cars, deals with vendors and contractors , etc…  But it now my understanding that when a hard-working woman is the bread-winner of the family, most of these household responsibilities are not assumed…rather they remain the “man’s work”.

Whether this is a result of pre-established gender identity or (as in my wife’s case) simply not having enough time due to an insane work schedule, I still find it pretty interesting.

I can therefore predict that, just because I’m filling, what is traditionally, a woman’s role in child rearing….my wife is not going to suddenly start taking out the trash or turning the lights out downstairs when it’s time to go to bed.

If she gets home early enough and is not feeling like she’s “cutting in” on my routine (I’m often guilty of taking on too much myself and not yielding or asking for help) my wife enjoys making dinner occasionally. Most often, and understandably, my wife prefers to spend some time with our two year old when she walks through the door and If I was working 80 hrs. / day and was able to come home early one day...I’d prefer to have more than just story-time before bed as quality time with my daughter. 

My wife also empties the dishwasher from time to time (although it is, admittedly, her least favorite thing to do on Earth) so now I’m trying to be more conscious about saying “Thank You” for that. Not only because I do appreciate it, but also because I’d like a few more “Thank You’s” myself.  After all... panti-pretzles don’t pick themselves up off the floor you know.