Accountability: The Importance of Consistent Consequence

It’s still amazing that, in the course of my day, my ability to see any task (from pouring a glass of water or folding laundry to completing a bowel movement) through to completion without interruption is impossible.

There are two other things that never cease to amaze me are:

1. Driving slowly in the left lane is not considered a moving violation and grounds for immediate impound of the driver’s vehicle.  

If you’re driving in the left lane and you can travel at the same speed one lane to your right… then please move over. The left lane really is supposed to be the passing lane.

and

2. Parents training their children to mind them only when they are screaming out of utter frustration.

If you calmly tell your child to stop doing something or there will be some consequence… and they don’t stop immediately…then bring on the damn consequence!... regardless of how inconvenient it might be.

Job Title: So...What Do I Do?

I wish there was a term to accurately describe what I'm doing so that I  could more comfortably answer the question: "So, What do you do?"

I often hear people using the term “Stay-At-Home-Dad” in everyday conversation… and have also seen it abbreviated as: “S.A.H.D."  which not only looks like “SAD”…but would also be pronounced phonetically as: “SAD”.  I’m amazed that the term was actually ever even coined because “staying home” is the exact opposite of what I do every day.

“House Husband” is as insulting as “House Wife” regardless of whether or not  it conjures up images of the reality show “Real  Housewives” who seem to be as disconnected with reality as they are their children....or thoughts of the more traditional "House Wife", who are unjustly stereotyped as lazy shopaholics who start every day with Pilates and enjoy martini lunches after tennis.  Either way it’s undeserving for the men and women I know who are the primary care providers in the family.

“Professional Dad” sounds like someone who is taking themselves way too seriously… and I question the professionalism of any occupation with the word “professional” in the title.

“Mr. Mom” suggests some gender role reversal between mom and dad resulting in dad becoming a man with a penchant for gossip and an addiction to the ellen show... not to mention the notion that somewhere out there coming through the front door at any moment is “Mrs. Dad”… which is far too frightening for me to even imagine.

“Full-Time Dad” would be o.k. because it suggests a high level of multi-tasking however, neglects the additional role of “Part-Time Mom” most other “S.A.H.D."s and I assume.

"Sherpa" may be offensive to Sherpas.

Perhaps the absence of an appropriate moniker is due to the fact that my generation is still on the cusp of redefining gender and parental roles.

What about “O.H.P.D.T.F.P.M”?  It's an acronym for: One Hundred Percent Dad & Twenty Five Percent Mom?  

Or is that too long?

I’ve got it....

“New American Dads” which can be abbreviated “N.A.D.S.” 

Watching The Clock: Feeling Terrible about Being Bored

I love my daughter with every ounce of my being but my ego keeps beating me up and making me feel like a glorified baby sitter. I’m just feeling unproductive. I need to be productive. I miss conversations with adults and being interested in my day. This amazing little girl of mine wants nothing more than to have me as her playmate. To play or paint or pretend with me. It’s a remarkable challenge to constantly come up with ideas and activities that are entertaining and fun for both of us. I try to adopt the mindset of a child and build cardboard castles or pillow forts but after 10 minutes, it’s all I can do to stay awake. I’m bored. I need to figure out a way to continue working …part-part-time. Something. Anything from home, Perhaps I can get some work done while she takes her three hour nap. That should be enough time to make a few phone calls and review a contract or two.