Good to Great: Moving from East Coast to Midwest

My wife brought home a refrigerator magnet one day that read: ”Life begins where your comfort zone ends.”…and so life is certainly about to "begin".

After a lot of careful consideration, lengthy discussion and exhaustive research we decided to sell our dream home in Pennsylvania and move to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The plan is to pack up the contents of our house in the next few weeks (making most of the headway while my wife takes Catherine to see her sick Grandpa in Tampa next week) and store everything neatly in the back basement.

We will list the house just in time to hit the tail end of the summer market with hopes that it will be an attractive situation for someone looking to move into the area before the school year starts in September. We will be shipping my wife’s car and drive my Suburban with one week’s worth of supplies in our (just purchased) Thule Atlantis 1800 (Sonic XL) rooftop carrier, along with a 2yr old and a 125lb Newfoundland... should be interesting to say the least. Below is my navigational chart which is an example of how over-thinking and over-planning allays most anxiety for me. It took quite a bit of time to determine the best times to travel, how long to travel and where to stop based on a myriad of variables including everything from nap times to doggy’s potty breaks and anti-anxiety meds (the dog’s). I learned a lot in my 1 week intensive course in trip planning…like the fact that zoo keepers and vets most often move animals under cloak of darkness when possible to avoid additional visual stimulus and potential anxiety / motion sickness…but we also wanted to see most of the trip as well since neither one of us could ever imagine needing or wanting to make a drive like this again.

Although this level of organization may seem like the science of qiyas when equipped with a state-of-the-art navigation system in my truck, I can’t help but think that a 5-day trip with 5 planned stops for a family traveling with a dog and a baby (neither of which have ever traveled in a car for more than a couple of hours) it’s imperative to identify additional potential stops at dog-friendly hotels in advance. We need alternate targets that can serve as half-way markers between stops in the event Catherine or Lulu just aren’t doing well…AND potential stops / hotels just past our scheduled stops in the event we are able to / need to make up time and can comfortably survive going on a little further….so that explains the thought process a little… 

Good Money After Bad? - Our Dog's 2nd Surgery (canis secretariat familiaris)

After a couple of difficult months, our 1yr old Newfoundland (Lulu) was ready to take her rehab to the final step: Aqua Therapy. We all breathed a collective sigh of relief, not only because Lulu was getting better, but because this meant we would be able to take-up the grey non-slip indoor-outdoor carpeting I had duct-taped to the hardwood floors throughout our downstairs. We hated those strips of carpeting. It made our home look like it was under construction. We got so accustomed to them though...that, until we noticed people staring at them, we would forgot to explain the reason for them being there. 

So the moment we walk through the door to the Physical Therapy Center, she immediately dropped to the floor and began yelping in pain.  Literally, the second she walked through the door. This dog never yelps or cries out in pain. It was like the Kennedy Assassination sans grassy knoll….or any gunmen…but just a sudden and equally significant. Just as the therapist guessed, it was another torn ACL and although we said “this is it.” after the last one...we decided that, in light of i) all the effort and expense we already put in ii)Catherine’s developing attachment iii) the fact that she was only a year old and would likely recover well because of that...perhaps it wouldn’t be good money after bad.

So we decided to repeat the whole damn process of getting a TPLO for her other leg. Only this time we decided to bring in some part-time help because I’m not the goddamned Dog Whisperer!

Enter an amazing professional dog therapist and walker named Meagan. Meagan really is a huge help but now puts the number of house staff in excess of the people actually living here... which makes it kinda feel like we're not really managing things that well.

Capital Improvements: Best Money We've Spent So Far...

A few things my wife and I recently discussed as really being the best gifts/things we ever received/purchased for our Catherine (outside of her car seat and miniature kitchen which both count as necessities in my book).

• The Learning Tower-http://www.sensationalbeginnings.com/Item--i-F-3-699X      I thought this thing was just a super safe step-stool at first but it has quickly become a real learning tool and way for me to include my daughter in everything that goes down in the kitchen. The tower enables me to happily oblige her when she says “I want to help!” I include her in everything from meal preparation (she mostly just mixes ingredients I’m not really using and pours liquids from one container to another) to “washing” plastic containers and metal bowls we refer to as “dishes”.

• Swing Chair- http://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=2384&e=product&pid=45667      Would never have been able to take a shower without one.

• Dog (Newfoundland)- http://www.ncanewfs.org/      Our Dog Lulu is Catherine's absolute best friend in the world (next to our neighbor’s daughter Sophie)…also read somewhere that pet dander helps children develop a healthy immunity and resistance to allergies...not to mention the fact that our dog is much more efficient under the kitchen table than a Roomba.

• Badger Basket Stackable Toy Bins- http://www.target.com/p/badger-basket-three-bin-storage-cubby-white/-/A-13849987#prodSlot=large_3_25      A place for everything….and now she is responsible to sort all her toys and put them back in their appropriate place. Really a gift for everyone.

• iPad- http://www.apple.com/ipad/       From Face Time with grandparents to math and language games…this also keeps her entertained in the car, on the potty, at a restaurant…and we, surprisingly, have not had any difficulty limiting her exposure to TV/iPad time to under 2 hrs./day.

• Bouncy Balls- http://www.alibaba.com/productgs/528105899/Plastic_Balls_for_Playgrounds.html  You know those 8.5” bounce balls you see stored in wire cages at the supermarket and Toys R Us? Well, I could remember being a kid and always thinking it would be cool to have a whole room full of them (perhaps a result of watching Richard Pryor in “The Toy” more times than I could count). I was grocery shopping one day and randomly decided to buy a whole shopping cart full of them. When I realized that the balls were on sale for 79 cents and that the whole cart only cost about $8, I decided to fill another cart and bring home 20 of those balls…which looks like a lot more when they’re all over the foyer. We had so much fun bouncing, kicking and tossing those balls all over the place the night I brought them home! We ended up putting them in Catherine’s playroom along with about 60 helium balloons for her birthday party… which was immediately dubbed “Balloons Room”.

• Seaside Sidekicks’ Sand Cupcakes Set- http://www.melissaanddoug.com/seaside-sidekicks-sand-cupcake-set     Colored Plastic Cupcake Sand Molds that we first saw these at the Westin in Grand Cayman. Catherine showed  interest in playing with another child (for the first time) who was playing with these plastic cupcakes at the pool one day so we picked up our own set at the gift shop the following day. They not only serve as our go-to beach or pool toy, but also as the perfect icebreaker at playgrounds with sandboxes. 

• Simply Hero Boys Superhero Cape and Mask Set-         http://www.sears.com/search=simply+hero+boys+superhero+cape+mask+red+super+hero+cape+costume+toddlercatalogId=12605&autoRedirect=false&storeId=10153&yikes_prod=true                                                                                                                                                      The best five bucks we’ve ever spent! Picked it up as an impulse buy at Wal-Mart and turned into Catherine’s costume our (almost) daily game Catherine invented called: “Super Bunny Saves The Day!” …and a more productive game that Daddy invented called: “Rescue the mail from the mailbox!”.

Critical Mass: Dad's Breaking Point

This is my Hell Week.

My wife has been on-call more nights than not and my load has doubled overnight.

I sometimes wonder if what has become a painfully monotonous routine for me, is actually a healthy and stable environment for a two year old….and then I realize that a daddy whose brain is turning into tapioca can’t be healthy for anyone. 

I read somewhere that the human mind craves complex problem solving and if it’s one thing I feel more than anything, it’s the absence of that.

My greatest challenges this week are:

1.)Fighting the feelings of guilt associated with loving my daughter more than anything in the world but simply seeking an end to the adorable but non-stop chatter that often prevents me from being able to form a complete thought and on the occasion I do...actually get it out.

2.) Developing a comfort-level with abandoning any and all game plans at any given moment and completely changing direction on a dime. 

3.) Taking our debilitated dog out to go to the bathroom in the backyard with a little girl. I’ve tried allowing her to stay inside on a couple of occasions when she didn’t want to go outside with me but, to be honest, I just can’t take knowing that something bad could happen to her and I’d never hear it.  When she DOES come outside with me, she demands constant attention and the look of complete heartbreak rises up in her when I don’t rush to collect the leaves... or dandelions... or whatever she’s found and lovingly offered to me as a present.

It's not so easy to quell my inner riot when I'm trying to get a dog which is mirroring my energy and lacking full use of it’s hind legs, to relax long enough in order to generate a solid bowel movement...  and at the same time, mentally prepare for the possibility of having to give our 120lb long-haired dog a bath in the event her shit gets all over her fur…as it usually does when she has diarrhea as a result of stress. That's an intimate moment neither of us enjoys. 

4.) Taking a shower. Frequently, when I’m in the shower, I suffer a level of anxiety that seems just a bit north of rational. I’m paranoid that something horrible is going to happen and I’m not going to hear it. I imagine my daughter bleeding out or not being able to breathe as a result of some accident that has just occurred close-by without my even knowing. Sometimes I think I hear a thud or her crying out and I’ll back away from the showerhead ...or worse, run out of the shower (as I have done on several occasions) only to find her quietly playing with her i pad... safe and sound) It’s kinda like being so sure you hear your cell phone ringing….so you stop for a second… and listen… intently… and then realize it never did. Well…I guess it’s like that... times 1000.

Underperforming Asset: Our Lame Dog After TPLO Surgery

Ever since she was a little girl, my wife wanted a Newfoundland. After researching the breed a bit, I could see why. They are undoubtedly the most gentle breed on the planet and perfect for a family with small children….or in our case, a baby.

From the moment we brought her home, we had issues. The dog seemed to suffer from stress and a chronic case of diarrhea. We thought, at first, that it was a food allergy and weaned her on and off of four different foods before turning to pharmaceutical resources. Heavy doses of Metronidazole, intestinal flora powder and a diet consisting of boiled chicken and rice mixed with kibble costing more than kobe beef seemed to help.  

A few weeks ago I noticed that Lulu, who is still less than a year old, was very tender around the lymph nodes under/behind her ears. When I asked the vet to check them out for me, I could tell from the not-so-subtle sigh and eye-roll that I was now officially “that guy”. When they returned seconds later saying: “Yup…it’s nothing. She’s fine.” I knew I had been permanently labeled as the hypochondriac owner of whom everyone was tired and that Lulu would never get a thorough examination again. When Lulu had trouble getting up from laying down the following day, we knew something was seriously wrong and when she fell over in the yard yelping two days after that, I threw her in the back of my Suburban and took her to one of the premier emergency veterinary hospitals in the area (VRC) for her mystery diagnosis. Within 12 hrs. they diagnosed her as having H.O.D….a condition that usually only presents in Weimaraners. She was admitted for a few days of observation which meant spending a couple hundred dollars a night on top of the emergency costs, meds, radiographs, etc…Slowly but surely this was tallying up to equal the cost of a summer vacation. But at least we finally knew what was wrong with her and had a potential answer to any and all previous issues.

Shortly after the three week recovery, we noticed that she was limping again. Another trip back to the vet revealed a torn ACL which was another few thousand dollars to repair using a procedure known as a “T.P.L.O.” in which two metal bars and 8 screws are used to take the place of the ligament. We requested a cosmetic closure (stitches on the inside) to prevent her from licking or chewing them which could possibly result in yet another trip to the animal hospital and thus make Lulu the “Six Thousand Dollar Dog”. The vet stressed the importance of strict adherence to the supportive therapy in order to prevent the other hind leg from blowing out (as is typical in giant breeds) and I took him seriously. He explained that some people get both done (like changing both headlamps on a car when only one burns out I presumed) as a precaution, but if we stuck to the routine…it shouldn’t be an issue.

I’ve been spending the past few weeks adding the care for a debilitated animal” to my list of “Things To Do Today”. Lulu needs to be fed, cleaned and cleaned up after, needs help going to the bathroom, given medication, etc… It’s like having an old smelly relative that requires round-the-clock-care move in with us.

For the past six weeks I’ve been Jepetto-ing this dog around the backyard on a sling like a marionette…which isn’t good for a 39yr old man suffering from sciatica and an inferiority complex. I can’t help but feel like my job is, literally, getting shittier….not to mention the fact that we could’ve bought a KIA with the money we’ve spent on this dog so far.   

But Lulu has come to mean so much to my wife and our daughter in such a short time. The look in her eyes is starting to get to me as well. It’s like she wants to tell me how much she appreciates everything I’m doing. I think she understands and is both grateful and embarrassed…if that’s possible. She’s such a good dog and as much as I hate giving her baths to clean the shit out of her fur, I am falling in love with this dog all over again… like Queen Latifah and that Scott McKnight in “Just Wright”.