surgery

System Recovery: Backup In 10 Days after a Tonsilectomy

A tonsilectomy is like the execution of an intelligently designed performance- based contingency. It's painful for everyone involved but if they're not meeting performance requirements, they have to go.

In our case, it was close to 10 days of pain until we were back on our feet. It would have been 9 but a ridiculously cold day (-20 degrees) resulted in school closings throughout South Dakota and afforded us an extra day to recharge.

Although most days were spent getting enough fluids down (water, apple juice and chocolate milk) while watching every episode of Scooby Doo & Peg + Cat ever created... the following is an overview of her daily post-op progression highlights:

 

Day 0: Nervous but brave going in. Disphoria and pain waking up. Plesant and cheerful at home.

ATE: Buttery And Fluffy Scrambled Eggs, Buttered Hawaiian Sweet Roll
And Apple Juice

Quote of the day: "I don't like any of this! I don't like one bit of this at all and I want to go home!!!"- upon waking from surgery.

 

Day 1: Antsy from medication and inactivity. Apparently unaffected otherwise. Playing independently.

ATE: Buttered Noodles, Fluffy Pancakes and Fudge Pop

Quote: "I don't want to eat ANYTHING!"

 

Day 2: Antsy and A bit overemotional / easily frustrated. Clearly masking discomfort. Bored

Quote:  "...but I'm not a very big fan if ice cream because it makes my mouth so cold."

ATE: Fudge Pop and Buttered Noodles with Chix Broth few slices of Pear.

 

Day 3: Calm and Cuddly with random bursts of energy presumably resulting from boredom.

Quote: "They say on television that children love flashlights and they love stuffed animals...so they really love flashlight friends! I love my new flash.light friend so much I have to hug her a lot!"

ATE: Buttered Noodles, Pancake and Fudge Pop and Marshmallows

 

Day 4: Fairly normal but bursts of energy continue to mix with apparent drowsiness from medication.

Quote: "I feel like I was eating an apple and swallowed it whole without even chewing it up."

ATE: Nutella Crepe, Mozzarella Cheese and Fuffy Pancake

 

Day 4.5: Skipped a dose of Lortab in middle of the night to tfy and let her sleep through. Bad idea.

 

Day 5: Irritable and uncomfortable. Needed a lot if attention and TLC = cuddling.

ATE: Nutella and Sunbutter Crepe and Buttered Noodles with Chicken Broth and Grated Cheese

Quote: "Its nice to be out of the house. I havent been out if the house in a year!"

 

Day 6: Doing very well. Feeling well.Comfortable but bored. Seems like her old self.
Fluffy & Light Grilled cheese on Thick slices Kings Hawaiian Sweet Round Bread, Mac n Cheese, PEZ,

ATE: Buttered Noodles and Chix Broth and Pirate Booty and Gum.

Quote: "I want someone to color with me!"

 

Day 7: In great spirits. Happy and Full of Energy.

ATE: Fluffy Pancakes and PEZ.

Quote: "I feel perfect!"

 

DAY 8: Tired and difficult breaking out of the routine of sleeping in late cuddling and being naked. Voice changing: Sounding a lot like a miniature Kristen Chenoweth...or a cute Yeardley Smith (AKA Putter from Legend of Billy Jean)

ATE: Pancakes, Ham and Cheese, broccoli, boiled honied baby carrots, avocado, apple slices and salmon nuggets.

Quote: "My throat hurts just a little when I yawn."

Talent Aquisition: Mommy's Job Offer

Talent.jpg

As a specialist, my wife receives letters and postcards (sometimes twice a week) from recruiters and health systems all over North America. They never explicitly state which hospital it is specifically but they all guarantee: top salaries, high quality of life, national sports teams, major universities and “…a wonderful place to raise children”.

My wife is working very hard with a practice covering seven hospitals in three states and feels as though her employers’ commitment to her is as not as significant as her commitment to  them. She always says “Your first job is never your last…” So, after 5+ years of interest from Sanford Hospital in South Dakota, we’ve decided to take a look. Although we couldn’t imagine living in South Dakota... we did some research on Sanford Health and decided it was worth the visit. At the very least, it would be an opportunity for my wife to catch up with an old friend and former colleague for whom she has a tremendous amount of respect.

FAST FORWARD 7 WEEKS…  

When we arrived in Sioux Falls South Dakota, we were simply blown away at this hospital’s whisper of a “Talk” and thunderous “Walk”. Thanks to Premier One Bankcard founder Denny Sanford (and his $700MM in gifts so far…), Sioux Valley Hospital has been renamed “Sanford Hospital” (surprisingly) and transformed into a region-shaping health care network with an infrastructure of physicians in leadership and an outreach spanning 126 communities throughout 8 states. They are implementing several initiatives including global children's clinics, multiple research centers and finding a cure for type 1 diabetes and breast cancer. With both domestic and overseas satellites opening at a record-pace, Denny Sanford is creating an unprecedented momentum of ensuring the highest caliber of healthcare both in the Midwest and in 18 countries throughout the world (now developing international clinics in Ireland, Ghana, Israel and Mexico). Organizational growth and development with cutting-edge medicine, sophisticated research and advanced education like this isn’t seen in cities ten times their size.

We arrived the weekend of Sanford Hospital’s Annual Gala ( benefiting the expansion of their cardiac division) and graciously accepted what we believed would simply be an opportunity to meet some folks on the team and have a nice dinner. I’ve been to a lot of these events and they always seem to follow the same syllabus: cocktails followed by a President’s greeting, a few words of promise by the CEO or COO then a video presentation of the good work being done by talented physicians and administration’s plans for the future. Then it’s back to dinner and some dancing afterwards.

The Sanford Healthcare gala we attended not only brought one of the better meals I’ve had this year to our table (a perfect medium rare filet, roasted brussel sprouts and truffled potato gratin), but also tears to my eyes…and handkerchief. Never before have I been so moved by the parents of children whose life-changing stories were shared …or by the teams of dedicated people working orchestrally, from top to bottom, who selflessly make such a monumental difference. But the Sanford story did not end when the lights came back on. This was not a benefit injected with a presentation of “good work being done”. This was simply a spotlight on life at Sanford whose message of “Improving the human condition through exceptional care, innovation and discovery” didn’t end with a video. Improving the lives of children, specifically, didn’t seem like “just a job” people are doing here…it seemed more like a calling. An ingrained way of living life. A belief system that is evident in everything from the conversations between fulfilled guests at every table and the LED-illuminated spinning magic wands handed out on the dance floor (that surely made many a baby-sat children at home delighted in the morning) to the child prodigy pianist who led the orchestra all evening long.

I guess it’s just an overall feeling of genuine commitment to care and to the community of people who provide it…and there doesn’t seem to be a sense of (or pre-occupation with) time clocks, budgets or superfluous layers of administration associated with it. The passion was palpable and contagious. It’s hard to be around people like that and not feel a moral imperative to join them.  It’s hard to be a father and not want an amenity like them for your own child.

Now that some of our preconceived notions regarding the Midwest have been obliterated, we have a lot to talk about on the flight home.

Game Changer: Transitioning From Working Dad to Stay-Home Dad

tie.jpg

When my wife and I became parents we suddenly found decision-making much more simplified. It all came down to what’s best for our baby. I was a workaholic when it occurred to my wife and me that we could afford to do better than a Nanny for our daughter who, at two years old, required much more than love, attention and regular feedings. Our Nanny was wonderful! And for two years, she faithfully and reliably provided everything our daughter needed in our absence.  We soon realized that the mental development of a child was not only astonishing in itself, but also accelerating at rate we never anticipated…far more rapid than the now seemingly slower development of balance and dexterity which we prayed then cheered for. The necessity to incorporate more cognitive exercises into play and “feed” this little learning machine became increasingly important to us and increasingly beyond the ability of her hired care provider. School was not yet an option because we had adopted the “natural course” method of potty training and thus were still changing diapers on outgrown changing tables.  It was clear that since we could comfortably sustain ourselves on just one salary, the ideal scenario would be for one of us to stay home until she was both of school-age and potty trained. The promise of dinners, weekends and holidays together was a no-brainer. The question as to who would stay home with her was answered as quickly as it was conceived. It was a matter of simple economics really... my wife is a surgeon while I was a restaurant consultant and commercial real estate broker in a down market.

There's a scene in the film Cast Away in which Tom Hanks’ character, Chuck, finally builds a raft capable of taking him past the breaking surf that has held him captive on a deserted island for years.  Once Chuck realizes that he has overcome the surf and is in the open water, he rows himself away from his former prison and begins to weep while watching it get smaller and smaller on the horizon.

With over twenty years of experience in the restaurant industry and a successful consulting business taking off, being a stay-at-home dad would be an escape from: long hours, constant drama, exhausting redundancy and hidden stress for what I knew would be a better life. But, like Chuck, I understood how painful it is to leave everything you know (good or bad) and everything you have become behind. 

“DBA: Daddy” represents the paradox and resulting identity crisis with which I am struggling. It reflects my belief that being a stay-at-home-dad demands the honing of every skill-set I previously utilized in my professional pursuits. “DBA: Daddy” is now a way of sharing my transition from “working dad” to “stay-at-home dad” with anyone else who thinks that they too are probably the only guy at Gymboree mentally calculating the franchisee’s Bottom Line based on average class size, hours of operation, number of employees and market rent per square foot.