Catherine had been asking for her own chopsticks ever since she first saw Mommy and Daddy using them...but her lack of dexterity never seemed to deter her from trying, so hard, to eat with them.
With the use of a rubber band, any take-away sticks can easily be transformed into "training sticks".
The tremendous sense of pride and enjoyment that results from "Doing it!!!" is well worth the additional two minutes of our time.
One of the most valuable things I've learned from my wife (and Peter Bregman) is that...
Listening is magic!
"...Listening isn't easy. The more we listen to others, the more likely we will react — or overreact — to what they say. Listening, it turns out, is much harder than speaking. We have to allow things we might disagree with to hang in the air. We have to move over a little and create space for those things to linger.
That kind of listening takes tremendous courage.
But if we're interested in learning — about ourselves as well as others — then it's worth it. And if we're interested in being connected to others, showing them respect, helping them feel better, and solving problems between us, then it's more than worth it. It's essential."
Peter Bregman
Harvard Business Review Columnist and Strategic Advisor
She named him "Fred".
While having brunch with my family at a downtown delicatessen the other day, I had the surprising good fortune to enjoy a slice of the best raisin bread I've ever had. So good in fact that I asked the server if they could give me the contact information for the bakery that supplied it...only to discover that it wasn't made by a bakery at all but by a local guy out of his mother's garage-turned-commissary.
After several phone calls and a long lunch, I realized that this baker represented more than just an advisory engagement opportunity for me. After determining his options for a sustainable business platform I quickly realized that this young man (and his uncanny ability to produce some of the best breads I've ever eaten) represented something more profound: The endangered demand for quality products in lieu of convenience.
David Napolitano is making incredible bread and supplying a small local specialty grocer along with two or three eateries in town but the demand for his product is sure to outpace his ability to produce it. In order for David to continue making bread at a profit, he is forced to either a.) Charge a price beyond what the market will bear. b.) Outsource the production to a larger scale manufacturing facility---in which case product quality will suffer or c.) Collaborate with a complementary concept (such as a cafe, restaurant or bulk olive oil retailer) with both a scaleable platform (ie; starting as an artisan "open kitchen" bread studio) and significant financial resources in place to incorporate an additional revenue center into their operation for payroll to support a wider supply and delivery radius or ancillary supply channels like boutique / luxury hotels, etc...
Its sad to imagine my daughter growing up in the absence of "downtown neighborhoods" with retailers like this. But almost gone are the days where local artisans and craftsman line the streets with their shops ie; specialty bakeries, cobblers or coffee roasters indigenous to every town. Granted....more and more Dean & Deluccas and Food Halls style gourmet eatery markets are popping up in most major US cities but outside those densely packed urban areas, suburbanites are driving to lifestlye-centers and super-grocery chains instead of the local town butcher, baker, candlestick maker or farmers' market.
Central Business Districts (CBDs) are the lifeblood and identifying character of any community but without operational systems for replication and mass production in place....master bakers (or coffee roasters, etc...) are saddled with the reality that although they will always be able to pay the rent, surround themselves with like-minded individuals and perhaps have a nice life living above their shop toiling away for 80hrs a week...they'll never realize the fortunes reserved for one stop shop food warehouses and most chain restaurants. Many will argue that franchises are the answer. Most of whom (save for a few with incredible brand equity and operational support in place) most often charge franchisees without sufficient experience (but plenty of passion) $30k for the right to use their name, "formula" and recipes but generally fail to deliver on the all important and imperative component ...the "secret sauce" or "genuine experience" which is only really provided by those who walk and breath their product or service...as the aforementioned artisan. Its that "wow factor" that is delivered by committed people who love what they are doing and are working in concert with an experienced team.
In exchange for maintaining the integrity of their small-batch products many artisans like Napolitano are often exiled into obscurity... Unless they write a book or land on a food network show or... garner regular support from their neighbors. They are often underpaid and undervalued by the masses who pay their cable companies more than they pay their teachers...and choose their bread based on value and calories or even more ironic....the amount of carbohydrates per slice.
Meeting David was like meeting Picasso. You could no less mass produce his product than you could mass produce him. Making bread is more than a culinary art. You're not just working with inert ingredients and measuring spoons. Yeast is a living thing and working with dough requires, touch, taste, smell, sound...its a living breathing thing affected by everything from sea level to humidity. When I considered the great chefs I've worked with, I realized that although they were incredible artists and efficient kitchen managers...they were also able to cross-train and coach. Mentor and develop. And that's what David needs...a venue in which to build systems, infrastructure and staffing levels that support a cross-training and development programs. He needs help creating a platform to turn people into bakers making bread his way so that he can share it with (or from) more downtown shops and not be forced to grow old above any one of them.
Its not enough to be great at what you do. The real value is in collaborating with and developing people within structured and managed systems. Perhaps that truth will transcend restaurants & hospitality and will, someday, prove relevant to my daughter in some other way. Until then, I'm stuck with my own frame of reference...and my own delicious raisin bread.
When both Mom and Dad are both working full-time, it doesn’t leave much time to take care of the basics. Grocery shopping and filling the car up with gas can often prove a challenging fit into one’s schedule… let alone the little things like: laundry, house cleaning, lawn & garden care, dog walking and feeding, picking up the kids because you can’t leave work at 3:00 in the afternoon…little things like that.
The amount of time it takes to run a household adds up fast…especially when you consider the fact that unless you have another family member living with you (like a mother or mother-in-law) you need to pay someone to help with the day-to-day chores and errands.
The bottom line? If you’re thinking about going back to work once the kid(s) are in school full-time, you should consider the direct impact by weighing the tangible expenses of doing so…or rather ensure that your return to the work force will yield an income that outweighs the cost savings of staying home (calculated below).
House Cleaner: $7,200+/yr.
Babysitter / Nanny: $12,000 - $35,000+/yr.
Dog Walker: $7,800/yr.
Summer Camp / Swim or Country Club: $2,000 - $10,000+/yr.
Landscaping: $1,500 - $4,000+/yr.
Dry-cleaning: $1,000 - $2,000+/yr.
___________________________________________
$31,500 - $66,000+/yr.
In short, unless you’re re-entry into the job market guarantees a salary of at least $50,000+/yr.… it’s likely you won’t break-even (on paper).
But what should also be taken into consideration, if you are one of the very fortunate (and very few) Americans who are in the position to even view a 2nd income as an option, is the fact that people who do what they love are happier people. And happy people not only make better friends and better lovers but better parents too. So, if your family can sustain itself on one (or one and a half salaries) ask yourself what you love more…the fulfillment of keeping a home or the fulfillment of your former line of work.
Now that Catherine is a full-time student, I can focus on getting back to a full-time job.
When we moved to Sioux Falls South Dakota, my rolodex became irrelevant. With no known firm behind me, no local experience and a plethora of avenues potentially open to me, I didn’t know where to start...or if it was even worth trying. After unpacking and clearing my dry-erase "deal board", I decide to replace the names of old clients and recently completed projects with the names of established local brokers, developers and restaurateurs who were likely here long enough to witness the beginning of Sioux Falls' boom first hand. The goal was to speak with 50 of the more successful business leaders to better understand from where Sioux Falls has come, where they see growth headed and what factors they perceive as potential obstacles in the way of continued growth.
Small towns and cities like Sioux Falls are typically "good old boys clubs". Getting to know who's who is not only important to gain insight on the local market and how business is conducted, but also to know where everyone's respective toes are so that none of them are inadvertently stepped-on in the process.
When friends and colleagues back East first learned that I was moving to the Midwest, the assumption was that: I would have the market and the consumer base figured out in a matter of weeks, open a few restaurants in the first year and negotiate several large deals in the first few months. Although Sioux Falls is 1/10th the size of Philadelphia, the market is no less dynamic. The failure to recognize that would be more a sign of arrogance than of ignorance. This city is small but its experiencing rapid expansion. The growth is visible everywhere. It’s like being on a college campus. Continuous construction is everywhere and the energy is palpable. Residential construction alone has topped $56MM this year compared to $20MM in 2012 and $11MM in 2011.
The most challenging aspect of getting back to full-time work after a brief hiatus...and a new perspective, is that there now seems to be more opportunities out there than I realized. Exploring the job market in Sioux Falls is like being in New Orleans during Jazz Fest. So many great things all going on at the same time... that the quandary almost results in inaction. In so many ways, moving to Sioux Falls is like starting over. So much so that I questioned whether or not hospitality and commercial real estate were really the right paths to continue down. Sioux Falls is a professional blank slate with the potential to bring one's skill sets to a myriad of professions from Design to Finance.
What I learned...or rather was reminded of, after speaking with many of the old guard here, is that given my druthers, I'd do what I've always done. Although I've often dreamed of trying my hand at things like marketing and advertising, I am a CRE deal and restaurant development junkie. Any fears I may have had about passing up alternative professional opportunities were laid to rest after having coffee one morning with a prominent attorney in town who spoke of his breadth of experience in various fields of law. He "would grow bored of any one specialty after 3 or 4 years so [he] would study some new disciplines and take on new clients to keep things interesting." This ability to regularly re-invent oneself professionally and succeed in doing so, would be impossible in any large city where most service related industries are dominated by tens if not hundreds of practitioners who take the lion's share of available clients based on their extensive experience alone.
This market seems to be one where the consumer is investing more in the individual than the size of their firm. A market where personal relationships and competence rule. A market where opportunities that exist today will likely exist tomorrow. With a 3% unemployment rate and companies losing more money because of their inability to meet staffing demands; perhaps getting back in the work force won't be as difficult as I imagined...but certainly not as easy as some may think.
Found this "Make Your Own Refrigerator Magnet" kit at the
Sertoma Butterfly House & Marine Cove Gift Shop here in Sioux Falls, SD.
"They only look small, she said, if you're someone who's fond of being bigger than everyone else."
Storypeople
I was en route to Philadelphia last week when my wife sent me a photo of a Golden Retriever puppy with a caption below that read: "I won!"
The hospital where she works received a donation of three new Golden Retriever pups. They sold 300 tickets for each of them to benefit The Children's Miracle Network and, of course, my wife bought more than one ticket.
Learning of this decision was frustrating to say the least as I was traveling for 3 days and my wife was working...a lot... which is not a situation conducive to the hourly attention a new puppy requires. I understood why she had accepted her "prize". We had spent the previous two weekends at the local SPCA trying to find a family friendly (and housebroken) dog amidst a surplus of pit bulls, pit bull mixes and a myriad of mutts described as "collie-shepard-boxer mixes" and things of the like... that really just looked like pit bulls with character. I was furious that the "claim of our prize" was never discussed with me (the one who would assume the charge of housebreaking him) as I would have, at least, suggested we postpone taking the dog home until my return. My wife offered to take the dog back...an option I refused due to the fact that I could imagine the resulting 20 years of therapy it would take for my daughter to realize exactly why and when she stopped loving me.
Over the next few days we had doctors, nurses, PAs and spouces of my wife's partners... all pitching-in and stopping over the house in succession to see this adorable fur-covered defecating machine and let him out.
When Catherine first saw the puppy, she immediately crouched down, extended a hand and said: "Hi there little buddy!...Is that your name? Little Buddy?" ....and so it was...until she overheard me speaking on the phone to a local home builder named Dudley. After hearing his name she laughed and said "Now THAT'S a FUN name! Dudley! I like that name!" She then proceeded to march around the house chanting the name "Dud-ley, Dud-ley, Dud-ley...." over and over... as if she was cheering for someone attempting to consume a large quantity of alcohol very quickly.
Our 2yr old Newfoundland, Lulu, has been tolerating Dudley quite well. They play for 3-4 hours a day and lounge on top of one another whenever Dudley is left out of his crate. The playing gets pretty fierce until Lulu either leaves the room or almost completely swallows Dudley's head and then bites down as hard as she needs to but not quite as hard as I suspect she wants to.
They're an incredibly cute pair of animals and I am happy he's here....even if it means two more months of hourly bathroom breaks and chasing him around the house on occasion like Rocky Balboa trying to catch a chicken in an alley.
The puppy is learning a lot from the already well-trained dog which seems to shorten the curve a bit. He constantly follows behind her like an eager little brother looking up to his big sister...mimicking her every move and demanding her attention. She indulges him most of the time but on occasion she will look at us sadly and release a heavy sigh... as if she is wondering when this guest will be going home.
99% of the time I'm totally in love with the privilege and awe of just watching my daughter grow up....then there's the other 1% of the time I feel as though I'm a half-step away from being that strangely numbed Lieutenant who is walking through a battlefield of scorched earth with men screaming, machine guns firing, grenades being launched and mortars exploding all around him... while he has a relaxed conversation, with someone completely distracted by all the chaos, about what they might have for lunch later in the day.
An interesting article I dug up in the Harvard Business Review blog on: Awareness, Focus & Judgement....applicable in any walk of life:
http://blogs.hbr.org/hmu/2009/01/pay-attention-an-interview-wit.html
